Belly Laughs

One of the most amazing things I have ever done was carry life inside of me. I think what your body goes through to create and mold this little human inside of your womb is the most special and precious gift God ever granted me! I will, however, admit that it surprised me that even though I am a nurse and am familiar with all that goes on in your body while pregnant, I found most of the symptoms to be a shock!

First of all, in the first trimester, you are ecstatic that you are pregnant but you don't look pregnant and when you start to have a "bump" you are still in the stage where people look at you like "I don't want to ask her if she's pregnant b/c what if she just gained weight", which I hated!!! Then you are dealing with constipation (TMI- I know but I've never had this problem before and was actually hospitalized b/f they realized I just had a small bowel obstruction!) You're constantly worried b/c you cant feel the baby move so you dont know if he/she is okay and you worry about when to tell people b/c what if you were to miscarry, and so on...plus, if you are super lucky you have a ton of morning sickness, no, I take that back...ALL DAY sickness which includes gagging for no good reason and puking if you even think of something that makes you feel a little queasy. On top of that, you are exhausted ALL of the time! When you hear that precious heartbeat for the first time, you forget about these things until the next time you throw up ; )

In the second trimester, your symptoms may start to decline (yay!) and you start to get a nice bump so you may just be cute and have a little fun, until you start to develop massive heartburn...and not just when you eat jalapenos, but when you drink water or eat BREAD!!! You learn that you can no longer sleep on your stomach b/c its too round or your back b/c you can't breathe so you try and position yourself to only sleep on your side, which for me was very difficult! You may start to have sciatic pain or even go into preterm labor (LOADS of fun) Luckily, you forget a lot of this when you see that beautiful baby again on ultrasound who, this time, looks more like a baby and less like an alien. Plus, you find out the sex! Soon after, you start to feel him/her move which is just amazing!!!

If you have any false labor, the hospital/doctor's office makes you feel stupid and asks "oh, is this your first?" Funny thing is I started contracting 3-5 minutes regularly at 27 weeks and it continued until I gave birth at 39 weeks and everyone tried to reassure me by saying "You will know when its real labor, it feels different"...NOT...one clue is that everyone is different and every pregnancy is different...I couldn't tell my preterm labor from my full blown labor until after my water broke and he was well on his way!

In the third trimester, you start to get a little anxious and uncomfortable. You can't sleep anymore and when you do you may have nightmares of giving birth to a toddler. You continue to have massive heartburn and false labor pains and worry about your water breaking while your walking down the cereal aisle and "ew, I don't want them to have to clean it up!". Walking around you look like a oompa loompa and cant catch your breath. Then you pee when you sneeze or laugh too hard, seriously, wet your pants : ) Even if it hurts when your baby kicks you by now, you are learning them and feel much more connected. I remember one of the neatest things was watching Caden roll across my belly, you could just see his foot stick out or his elbow roll across the center...too cool!!!

I find all this very humorous myself b/c I've waited my whole life to become a mommy and even though I have some very amazing, wonderful memories of my pregnancy I was a little disappointed that with my very first one I had so many problems (not to mention they told me they thought I was miscarrying the day they told me I was pregnant and we found out about his kidney problem at 20 weeks!). I see all these beautiful, glowing pregnant women and can't help but feel a little jealous, since my pregnancy "glow" was really sweat from vomiting 10 times that day. The truth is that life rarely goes as planned. I would do it all over again and plan to b/c the outcome is so great. I just have a hard time with the fact that no one prepares young women for the realities of pregnancy and what it does to your body! By no means am I trying to discourage anyone from having a child, I just want all women to be aware that everyone's body is different, no two pregnancies are alike b/c the woman and child she is carrying is always different! So dont listen to what everyone says and if you think something is wrong, get it checked out! Better to be safe than sorry when it comes to your child : ) There were many obstacles we went through to get Caden here, but we were proactive with our healthcare and I suggest that everyone else be too

Remember, God created each of us different and this is one of the most amazing things you will ever do...but be prepared b/c God has a plan and our "birthing plan" or "pregnancy plan" may not be the same as his plan.

Lessons Learned

As I have recently celebrated my turning a quarter of a century old, I am going to blog on things I hope to teach my child, and future children. I especially hope by exposing my biggest flaws, failures and triumphs, that others can learn from my mistakes.

Being a mother has really changed my view of life. I have learned to not take life so seriously and things do not always go as planned...actually, I take that back, they rarely ever do! When I first had Caden, I sterilized everything that he touched, now I pick up the paci, wipe it off and hand it back (don't cringe, you've done it too and he puts everything from the floor in his mouth anyways) I am not going to be perfect but I also cannot beat myself up over my failures, I can only learn from them and move on, hopefully not to make the same mistake. So, I will start, in no particular order, with lessons learned:

1-Get your hair wet! Yep, you read that right. Everytime I went swimming as a young woman I felt the most important thing was that my perfectly washed dried and styled hair stay that way...I mean, seriously. Live, let your hair down, jump in head first into that pool! Life is too short to be worried about petty stuff like your appearance : )

2-Indulge a little. Not that I agree with being a glutton, but dont be so obsessed with counting calories that you can't cheat a little now and then. One slice of cake won't kill you (now the whole thing, not so good). Don't restrict yourself so much that you can enjoy yourself from time to time. And take a little time for yourself every now and then. You are a better mother/father, spouse, friend when you are rested take a time out for you sometimes.

3-When you think your ready to have sex, wait longer. I remember thinking how old school our parents were when they preached abstinence. Apart from the clear biblical reasons, you are not mentally sound enough as a young adult to really make that kind of decision well. And, I promise you that when you finally do marry someone, you will never feel okay about the fact that it wasn't just the two of you...never...because your virginity is something you just can't take back and it isn't likely that you will marry your first "love".

4-Control your emotions! If there is one thing I feel sorry for my parents about it was my awful mood swings growing up. I thought EVERYTHING was the end of the world if it didn't go my way. Well, get over it, life will never go the way you planned, in fact I think it amuses God that we have our own plans! Your emotions can be so dangerous, especially as a young man/woman. They can lead you to make some really, really bad decisions, and I am living proof of that time and time again. I really have to tell myself that every little thing isn't that big of a deal and I have learned to laugh at myself for getting so upset about those things in the past...just think of things like, "in the grand scheme of things, is this really going to be THAT bad?"

5-I hope you DANCE! Dont be so concerned with what everyone else thinks of you or fitting in that you lose sight of who you are! Dance in public like no one else is around, sing in church, laugh out loud, make a fool out of yourself if it means being who you are.

6-Dont hold back. I'm not saying be so outspoken that your flat out rude, but be honest with people. Tell them how you really feel...we are not promised tommorow, not one of us. Don't leave things unsaid, or have hurt feelings but not discuss them. I dont want anyone I love to leave this place not knowing how I truly feel about them!

7-The grass is NEVER greener. Someone will always be better off than you and someone will always be worse off than you. You are not going to leave one friend to find another who is perfect because perfect people dont exist. The same goes for relationships, jobs, churchs, etc. You will always find problems b/c you are flawed as well and not everyone will agree on what is best, so be happy with who you are and what you do!!!

8-You will never please everyone...anyone who knows me knows that I am a people pleaser. I will get sick to my stomach if I think someone is mad at me or I hurt someones feelings. The truth is that it is good to be conscience of other people's feelings and wants, but you will never be able to make everyone happy, you can be a best friend, employee, spouse, etc and you will still fail because we are all human. Just focus on being the best person you can be and learn to forgive. We are all human and all make mistakes, so dont hold grudges!

9-You will never find happiness in anyone or anything. Nothing more than Jesus Christ can bring true happiness, joy and peace. You have to choose to happy and not let circumstances control your life. Other things and people will disappoint you, put your faith and hope in Christ and leave the rest to him. When storms come in your life, realize that it will pass and you can still find joy, comfort and strength in him! So don't worry about every little thing in life (pot and kettle, I know)

10-Do everything to glorify God. I have said to myself on many occasions when I have found myself going above and beyond for someone who really doesn't appreciate it that I am not doing it for them or anyone else, I am doing it because I feel like it is in God's will for me to be in that place at that time doing that thing. I may not be happy about it and never get praised for my work, but I know that is not what it is truly about.

One of my favorite quotes:
"Life is not a race-but indeed a journey. Be Honest. Work hard. Be choosy. Say "thank you", "I love you", and a "great job" to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper. Love your life and what you've been given, its not accidental-search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you inspire to. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself-plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know. Live for today, enjoy the moment."