Wow, its been a really long time since my last post...my child has been growing like a weed!!! A couple of weeks ago he started to crawl, pull himself to standing and cut a tooth...all within one week!!! Lets slow it down, kid!!! Its amazing to see this little person that I carried inside me just 8 short months ago grow from a helpless baby to a more independent child with his own little personality! God is so good! Uh oh, I'm already rambling, okay, on to the blog:
I am reading a book right now called "Every Woman's Marriage" and the author said something very interesting: YOU am the common denominator in all of your relationships!!! How profound!!! So often, I think people write other people off in their lives (whether that be friends, spouses or a family member) because they get their feelings hurt or they just don't feel a connection anymore!!! But later down the road, it happens with the next friend, and the next and the next. That is when you need to stop and think: maybe everyone else isn't the problem, maybe the problem is ME and my bad attitude!!!
I have noticed recently that everytime I get on facebook, I find myself angry...all I see are people complaining about how awful their lives are; How their baby won't let them sleep just one more hour (first, you chose to have a child, and second, there are so many people who can't have children, parenthood is a blessing so what if you lose some sleep?) how they hate their jobs (look how many people can't find one in this economy), how they need to lose just a few more pounds or they have bad friends who dont care enough to call more frequently...I could go on and on...the point is that we all get upset at one time or another about little things in our lives, but we should realize how petty they are before we go complaining that our entire life is a disaster!!!
And I, by no means am excluding myself from the pettiness...I know I struggle with the post-baby body image stuff but in the grand scheme of things, I know I have done an amazing thing...I have carried life inside my body...with all the stuff we went through to get him here and keep him healthy, do the size of my pants really matter??? I get frustrated with my job but I literally have to tell myself sometimes "you should be so thankful you have a job...you may be cleaning up vomit right now and feel like you have a thankless job...but it matters to someone and if not to an earthly someone, it matters to God!!!"
Many of you who know me know that I can be a control freak at times (one of my many flaws). I like predictability, which I have learned is an impossibility when you have a child...nothing ever goes according to plan. I am no longer early wherever I go, my hair/makeup isn't fixed just right, Caden is never wearing shoes (wont keep them on!) and when he has a runny nose, his face is not going to be completely clean!, etc. So, frequently I find myself reacting to situations in ways I wish I hadn't...I let my emotions get the best of me and don't think before I speak! But, constantly complaining and having a bad attitude doesn't make my situation any better. In fact, it often makes it much worse and makes people around me miserable...it is true that misery loves company!!! What I have learned is that the one thing I can control in my life is my attitude. I can choose to react with a negative attitude when a situation doesn't go as planned and ruin my day and the day of those I love (which I frequently still find myself doing) or I can react with a positive attitude and make the best of my circumstance!
When Caden had his surgery, I was beside myself with fear, but I had to choose to have faith in God that he had a plan and Caden was going to be alright. As a nurse, I poke and prode at people's children/spouses/parents all day. Watching it happen to my own sweet child and being completely helpless gave me a new perspective on both my career and my life!!! I had no choice but to trust in God, and put on a good attitude! Because if I had a bad one, I would have lost it completely! Now, that isn't to say I wasn't scared to death, but I think that is okay! It is okay to be scared or angry at times, and to even vent about those emotions occasionally...we are all human. It isn't okay to dwell on it and let those emotions control you!
I am learning just like all of you that life is messy, times are hard and I can't always have my way! But in spite of all the storms in my life I am choosing to look to God to get me through them with the best attitude I can muster up and continue to try and see the light at the end of the tunnel because even though things are really bad sometimes...I have SO MUCH to be thankful for!!!
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