Motherly Love

As I have just celebrated my very first Mother's Day, I feel it is only fitting to write a blog about one of my most important roles in my life...being a mom!!! I remember as a little girl, when everyone else was dreaming of becoming astronauts and cowboys, I was dreaming of becoming a wife and mommy...I think it stems from my own mother who made a career out of being a wife and mother and did it so very well!!! Even though I chose to get a degree, I find no other job I do as important, has difficult or as rewarding than being a mother!

So, in honor of this special day, I will tell you the story of Caden:

When Travis and I discussed the possibility of adding to our family, we decided we wanted it to be stress free so we agreed to not track ovulation at all and just let it happen when it was supposed to. We figured that way, it would probably take a while anyway. To our surprise, when I ended up in the ER at work on New Year's Eve 2009 for what I thought was appendicitis, I was actually pregnant and my body knew way too early (right at 4 weeks to be exact). I was in disbelief...I went home and took several pregnancy tests just to be sure they were right ; )

We had to tell our parents but we stopped at Nat and Dan's first and I couldn't hold it in...I showed her a stick...she screamed..."I knew it!!! Zeke is going to have a little cousin!!!". We told my mom and dad at their house by giving them the willow tree "grandmother"...before they even opened it they asked if we were pregnant b/c we were giving them an unexpected gift. We then met the Kreun's at Ruby Tuesday's in Statesboro and gave them the same gift...I remember Mrs. Cathy screaming in the restaraunt...and then explaining it to Mr. Warren, just in case he didn't understand...haha...

We included our family in the 3D/4D ultrasound, which was amazing...my parents and sis were a part of the one where we did gender determination at 17 weeks and Caden was in position to proudly show everyone he was all boy!!! I looked over at Travis tearing up...my heart just melted ; ) I was already in love. That weekend, we went to Atlanta to register and I REALLY felt him kick for the first time...I had felt some flutters on and off for a couple of weeks but I was sure this was him moving...and Travis felt it too...it was such and incredible feeling...to feel life literally inside of me!

Travis and I both worked nights in Warner Robins and we spent weeks trying to come up with a baby boy name. We would go to WalMart at midnight to shop b/c no one was there and one night we found the name "Caden" in a baby book. It was Welsh and it meant "Spirit of Battle"...we both loved it instantly...we put up a poll online for our friends and family and everyone else loved it to. It was settled!

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I really felt like I was learning Caden...he would turn over in my belly and you could just see his little cramped body move from one side to the other...he would stretch one foot out and it would visibly stick out of the side of my stomach...I could press on it and he would move it back in (something he did frequently as a newborn too). Travis would play Mozart on my belly and Caden would kick.

And oh, how precious was the day he was born! When they placed that sweet bundle of joy on my chest after all that labor I was instantly in love! He was so tiny and precious. I have such precious memories of those first few weeks...as hard as they were (with the lack of sleep, jaundice, frequent trips to the dr., refusal to breastfeed, and all the adjustments) the simple things would just amaze me: how sweet he was when he fell asleep on your chest, how precious Travis was with him (he is such a GREAT dad!), how he managed to pee out of every diaper for weeks!

And after many, many weeks of doing nothing but eating, sleeping, pooping, and crying...he finally gave us that precious smile and suddenly everything was SO worth it!!! And he hasn't slowed down yet...as sad as I am to see him growing way too fast, every new thing he learns excites me! All of his firsts so far: first feeding of solid food, sitting up by himself, feeding himself for the first time, first time crawling and pulling up!!! He is getting to be such a big boy ; )

It is truly the biggest, greatest blessing to be his mother! Not that there aren't times that I get frustrated or need a break. But it has truly been the most amazing thing to be a mom! It is scarey, too b/c it is such a HUGE responsibility...I know that he is depending on me forever now. There isn't a moment in my day that I am not thinking about how he is or what he is doing or if he is okay when I'm not with him...

The funny thing is that I think becoming a mother has helped me grow into a better person, as well...I have learned that life is not perfect, things dont always go as planned, its okay to get a little messy and miss a few deadlines and my house is not always spic and span but I don't care!!! I have a little boy who adores me and looks up to me and I want him to grow up learning from a good example ; ) I hope he always knows how special he is to me and how much I love him!