MARRIAGE TRUTHS

Travis and I are celebrating 5 years of marriage this Friday. I can’t believe it! This may not seem like much of an accomplishment to many of you but to us this is HUGE to us! Mostly because we almost didn’t make it here. Several years ago I would be afraid to make that statement for fear of what others may think of me, but I am not afraid to admit now that I am flawed! No one is perfect and shame on you if you judge me!

Our Wedding Day, June 3, 2006

The truth is that marriage is hard and it takes a lot of work from both parties! Change is good…but change is also very difficult! Several years ago, I had finally graduated college, but Travis had suddenly become unemployed, I took a job in Macon (3 hrs away from anyone I knew) and things got really tough. We moved into a small apartment and were forced to deal with our problems instead of putting on a fake smile b/c friends were coming over and we saw each other’s ugly side and to be honest, we were both unhappy. I started reading “Love and Respect” among other things and realized a hard but valid truth: marriage is not about our happiness. Any one person living with another person is going to disagree…there are going to be things about the other person that drive you crazy. I realized that Travis needed to feel like I respected him (which was hard b/c he felt like being a breadwinner of the family was a huge part of that) and I needed to feel like he loved me (which was hard b/c I didn’t show him respect).

1 year anniversary pix in Swainsboro, courtesy of Brooke Turner, 2007

Honestly, there will be times when you aren’t happy and you don’t feel that “spark” but you have to realize if that is all there was to love then no one would ever be in a relationship for any amount of time b/c eventually those butterflies fade and you are faced to see past the façade and see the real person for who they truly are. Hopefully, you have built a relationship of love and respect with them from the start and the amazing times you have with that person will outweigh the few bad times.

Right before we left for Hawaii, 2008

 I think many people go from one relationship to another getting “high” off the “newness”…when that wears off…they think they aren’t “in love” with that person and they move onto the next person that makes them feel it. The thing is that love is truly not a feeling at all…Love is a choice!!! I choose to love my husband even when he drives me crazy and I don’t feel like I like him. I know I act like a crazy, hormonal woman sometimes and he doesn’t feel loving towards me, but he chooses to love me anyway. That is what marriage is all about…choosing to look past flaws and choosing your battles…a little give and take.

Anniversary dinner in Macon, 2009

By no means to have we had the perfect marriage. I still blow up when clothes are left on the floor and he still fusses when I nag him but I know that we are in such an amazing place. We have just come so far! With the overwhelming support from our families and God by our side guiding us, we have built an amazing bond and repaired a lot of damage…rebuilt our foundation and I can truly say from the bottom of my heart that I love him more now than the day we married…

Anniversary dinner in SAV while I was preggo with Caden, 2010

I am so incredibly blessed to have such a sweet, caring, thoughtful husband who is such a great example for our son. I see other women who are with these men who could truly care less about their role as a father…that leave their wives to go out with the guys all the time…I have been so incredibly lucky! My husband helps out around the house, watches the baby when I’m at work or don’t feel well, takes care of me and works hard to provide for us. When I watch him talk to and play with Caden it just amazes me…he is SUCH a great father and you can see him light up with him! Makes my heart melt…

5 Years of Marriage, Us with our sweet little boy, 2011

God truly knew what he was doing when he created you for me, baby…I love you with all my heart…sorry I blogged on you, but I have to brag because you truly are THE BEST husband for me!!!