So things have been a little more crazy lately than usual with all the medical stuff and the holidays coming up and everything else life has thrown our way. I'm surprised to say I'm doing fairly well with it all. That is not to say that I am handling everything with grace...any of you that know me know that often this is not the case. Occasionally I will let it get to me. Heck, just last week I cried in the middle of the hospital over the stupidest thing...really just because I hadn't really allowed myself to feel everything that has been going on so I let it all out when the last straw hit the camel's back!
My visit to Mayo Clinic is quickly approaching and we are hoping to hear some good news there. Caden is growing like a weed!!! I'm learning more and more everyday to "let go and let God" because there are so many things I can't change. Like many other nurses I know, I am somewhat of a control freak and if I see a problem I want to fix it and "STAT". It is something that is just ingrained in me. It makes me good a nurse but its also a downfall for me in many ways. As a mother and a supervisor at work, I have to learn to sit back and let others make mistakes so they can learn. On a personal level, I will drive myself crazy with my OCD tendencies and lets face it, these days I face things on a daily basis that I have no control over!
I am slowly learning to step back, take a deep breath and let it go! It is one of the hardest things I have ever done because this definitely does not come naturally to me. We are currently facing several situations where I can't fix it, I can't make it better or make it disappear. The past two years we have continually been faced with these types of situations and I can only guess that God is trying to make us stronger. He is trying to teach me and I'm trying so hard to learn from each situation and grow.
I can only pray that my attempt at keeping a positive attitude through it all will serve as a testament to my faith and the love that God has put in my heart for others. It has not been an easy road we have been traveling, but I have NEVER felt more blessed. I have a precious little boy, an amazingly wonderful husband, a supportive, loving family and finally a job I love! I know the devil will continue to rain on my parade but I am determined I will dance in it anyway!!!
